Our Surprise Shower

Over the weekend we took a trip to Houston to visit some of my husband's family.  We don't get to see them often. The last visit was over two years ago!  This family immediately takes people in and makes them feel so welcomed.  Once you meet each of them, you feel as if you have known them your entire life.  This weekend they threw us a surprise shower!  It was wonderful!  

In the closet at Lute's Marine!  Who knew a closet could look this good?

Me and the baby bump! 

Everyone went above and beyond!  

Each gift was special to us.  I am thankful the Lord has blessed us with a child whose story will always point to Him.  I noticed this weekend, I can't speak of the baby without explaining how God's hand is in this pregnancy.  Every child is a gift from above!  It still blows my mind when I think of how the Lord unblocked fallopian tubes and the doctor wasn't even sure if he, a medical professional, would be able to repair the damaged tubes! Even in  dry spells God is working.  

The Supremacy of Christ 15He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. 17He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. 21Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because off your evil behavior. 22But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— 23if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant (Colossians 1:15-23).

My thoughts are scattered at the moment, therefore this post will probably be random.  I woke up this morning and said my prayer of thanksgiving, then listened to TGP's podcast posted on July 17.  I am a little behind on listening to the podcast, but I am determined to catch up.  I cannot explain how much I adore the woman leading July 17 worship.  Honestly, I adore each person who has been involved with this ministry. As I listened to Laurie speak and sing about fear, anxiety, etc. tears were falling down my cheek.  She quoted John 17:11-12 and I am humbled that Jesus, the son of God would pray this prayer for His people.

 

The next podcast Kevin sang one of the most beautiful songs and my spirit was in awe!  It's easy to forget that it is a privilege to be able to call an Almighty King by the name of Father. 

On my two hour ride home today, I listened to K-Love and their focus was on the tragedy that occurred in Colorado.  My heart was broken to hear about this tragedy and my hope is that through this people of this nation will draw closer to Him.  My heart literally aches for those families who lost loved ones.  Rhett Walker was interviewed and sang a song called, "All I Need."   I really don't have words to describe how wonderful and perfect this song is for a time like this.  Our nation needs Jesus.  We have a Savior and through Him a way to Heaven is made.  Our Heavenly Father is merciful and just.  One day there will be no more tragedy, but until that day we must hold onto our Heavenly Father, remember what His son did for us on the cross, and not forget we have the Holy Spirit living in us to fight for us!

Thankfulness

Each morning I am attempting to thank God before I get out of bed.  This is day two and I almost forgot that I had set this goal (talk about a bad memory).  I looked on my bible app and saw the verse for today which said:

Psalm 50:14-15

“Sacrifice thank offerings to God, fulfill your vows to the Most High, and call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.”

I was thankful for this gentle reminder.  After getting out of bed my husband and I listened to TGP's podcast and through the podcast I was reminded to be thankful and give thanks to the Lord. During the podcast, Kevin also read 2 Chronicles 20:15-17, which spoke loudly to me.

¹⁵ He said: “Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.¹⁶ Tomorrow march down against them. They will be climbing up by the Pass of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the gorge in the Desert of Jeruel. ¹⁷ You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.’”

I have written about my struggles with fear.  It's so easy for me to forget, God is in control and the battle is for Him and is His.  We have had Jesus go before us and die for us.  What then shall we fear?  He conquered death!  

I was also very thankful this morning for a beautiful baby girl that I had the privilege to meet last night!

Emmaline, you are loved so much already!  I am very thankful for this new baby and her wonderful parents! Congratulations Kara and Kerri! 

¹⁵ 

Reading Plan: Fear and Anxiety

I recently discovered the bible app I use allows me to create reading plans.  I have created plans based on topic.
The app recommends you:

• Pray: God, connect with me here, as I seek you in your Word. Begin with focus and openness to see what God has for you.
• Read: the selected section of Scripture slowly. Take note of intriguing words and phrases and read them a second time.
• Reflect: on what strikes you as you read. Think through what God is communicating to you at this point in your life.
• Respond: to the passage. Speak to God directly about what's on your mind and heart. Look for ways to live out what you've uncovered.

I struggle with many things, but at this moment fear and anxiety are stealing my joy.  Instead of taking a back seat to these two evils, I am reading truth to fight against these lies! Today's verse for anxiety was:

Mon Jul 16

Day 3 of 7

Philippians 4:6-8

• Listen
• View Philippians 4:6-8 in Reader

6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!  This is the word that stand out to me.  In all things pray and with thanksgiving!  I also remember a wonderful girl sharing how her older sister used this verse to teach her to hold thoughts captive by asking:

• Is it true?
• Is it pure?
• Is it lovely?  
• Is it of good report?

Now it is time to apply these truths to my life.  They are easy for me to read, but I need them to penetrate my heart!

A few of my favorite things in life

I have many favorite things in life, but here are just a few....

 Spending quality time with my husband.  We have spent some great time together this past week. 

 Catching up with old friends!  It was great seeing these two today and we should never go that long without seeing them again!

Looking at old pictures!

Watching sweet babies grow.

They grow so fast! 

Thanking God for miracles.

I love face timing with my dad and this baby! 

Remembering the blue eyed, long haired, boy with a huge smile, that I fell in love with nine 

years ago and being thankful he is the man I have been so blessed to call my husband!  

Thank you Mackey Madness!

I just want to thank Megan at Mackey Madness, for such a great reminder that there is a point in suffering.  

^{Hebrews 13
11} The high priest carries the blood of animals into the Most Holy Place as a sin offering, but the bodies are burned outside the camp. ¹² And so Jesus also suffered outside the city gate  to make the people holy through his own blood. ¹³ Let us, then, go to him outside the camp, bearing the disgrace he bore.  ¹⁴ For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come.
¹⁵ Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that openly profess his name. ¹⁶ And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.

1 Peter 4: 12-19

12 Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; 13 but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing; so that also at the revelation of His glory, you may rejoice with exultation.

14 If you are reviled for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. 15 By no means let any of you suffer as a murderer, or thief, or evildoer, or a troublesome meddler; 16 but if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not feel ashamed, but in that name let him glorify God. 17 For it is time for judgment to begin with the household of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18 And if it is with difficulty that the righteous is saved, what will become of the godless man and the sinner? 19 Therefore, let those also who suffer according to the will of God entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right.

This topic has been a difficult one for me to just accept.  Pain in this world has always been something I have never understood, but I know it is not for me to understand.  We are part of a fallen world and what is coming is much more glorious than my mind can imagine.  I do believe all the pain and suffering will be worth it. Whether it be a battle of the flesh, mind, physical, or spiritual world, I refuse to give up fighting. I am thankful for reminders, such as the one Megan gave today, because I cannot fight this fight alone. "Do not lose heart,  though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed!" 

What's Been Going On...

Here is what's been happening in my life the past 19 weeks.  I threw up every day, almost all day, for 16 weeks and haven't slept well in 19 weeks. Last night I got a total of 3 1/2 hours of sleep!  For the most part I have lived off of cereal.  I wish I would have taken a picture of all the boxes we had at one time.  It was kind of hilarious, since they could not all fit in our pantry we kept them out on the counter.  My house has been a wreck, but the good thing is I have learned it's ok if it's not perfect. I still wanted people over, but they had to deal with the unclean house. Guess what?  They didn't mind, because they loved me and just wanted to make sure I was ok.

On March 29, I felt the Holy Spirit literally telling me to take a pregnancy test.  I said out loud, "Lord I don't want to take another negative test."  He was persistent and I sent my hubs to pick up the test that was POSITIVE!  That story can be read by clicking here.

On March 30, a blood test confirmed I was pregnant, an ultra sound was done and no baby was seen!  Scary, but a lesson was learned and I knew God was good no matter what. I said it and meant it.  He had me in a place where I knew He was with us no matter what!  See trusting our heavenly Father.

On April 2 my levels had quadrupled, meaning the pregnancy was progressing.  We waited until April 9 to have another sonogram. We held our breath a little lot as the ultra sound tech searched for the baby again.  With a huge smile she showed us this picture:

On March 31 we got to hear the heart beat and it was such a sweet sound to our ears, especially since I am a WORRIER! You can hear the Doctor say in the video, "I hope this reassures you."

We didn't get to see our baby again until the day we found out the gender.  Believe me when I say, I just wanted to see the baby at this point.  Gender did not matter, as much as knowing the baby was developing.  I've had to take Zofran for a long time and it has made me feel guilty, but I can't hold down proper nutrition without out it, so seeing this ultrasound helped with some of the guilt.

We found out the baby was a girl on June 28.  I blogged about the gender reveal party, in a previous entry.  I cannot explain the emotions that we felt as we watched our baby kick and move.  When her mouth opened and closed on that screen, I fell in love even more.  Each time a new milestone is met, I feel my husband and I fall more in love with this child.

A lot has happened in 19 weeks!  Accusing thoughts began to fill my mind once again, but thankfully a friend redirected me.  What would I do without you, Lauren? Sleepless nights have consumed my life and my mind, usually fills up with more and more worry with each waking moment.  I'm not giving in and I'm not giving up on my walk with our Creator.  The devil is attacking me from every direction trying to steal the joy of a miracle God has given us.  I am thankful for this tiny baby and huge miracle, but thats not why I love the Lord.  It's not because what He does or does not do for me, but what He did for all of us.  He created us, we rebelled, He gave His one and only Son, so that we, who  are not worthy, could have a chance at eternal life.  I have forgotten and do forget on a daily basis that this is not our permanent home.  Some days just stink!  Things that happen and make me sick like babies, children, and teenagers/young adults dying before we think it is their time. I have consumed myself with thoughts such as these lately, but God does know what He is doing. Why is this so hard for me to accept?  Oh my trust issues!

Father,
Thank You for each mile stone and I pray as our love for this child deepens, so will our love for You.  We really do want to love You more each day and trust You.  I pray against accusing thoughts and thoughts that make us question Your goodness.  Thank You for a chance at eternal life. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

An attempt

Here goes another day at attempting to blog.  I believe blogging has taken a back seat in my life for many reasons.  Yes, it's true I haven't had motivation for much of anything these days, including cleaning and cooking.  My poor husband has to scrounge up what he can to survive!  I'm glad he loves me regardless. Boy, would I be in trouble if our love was contingent on me being a great house wife!  I have also felt as if blogging was pointless.  The truth is I'm probably one of the only people who reads this thing, but I did find it therapeutic when I was blogging consistently.  I guess that is a good enough reason to blog.

 The main reason and probably the most difficult to discuss is how far from the Lord I have felt lately.  I started blogging as a way to let others (if there were others reading) who may be dealing with depression see that God is good and always present even in the midst of depression.  When I started blogging I read my bible on a consistent basis and really enjoyed spending time talking to the Lord and being in His presence.  It wasn't because of a legalistic (you have to do this or you will be punished) reason, but a deep desire in my spirit that spurred me to want to know more about Him.  I haven't had that deep desire lately. I want to know the Lord, but I don't comprehend what I read anymore.  I am easily overwhelmed and feel like a kid who has ADD!  I can't pay attention for more than ten minutes at a time!  It's a little frusturating being so easily distracted.  The depression has lessoned, but the anxiety in my life has increased a great deal!  Anyway, how could I bring myself to blog when I find it difficult to pray.  My prayers have sounded more like this lately, "God this person is in pain or their family is hurting, I pray ughhh, I don't know Lord, I pray... You will help them." It is like I have prayer block.  I'm not sure that is a real thing, but that's how I feel.  Yup, prayer block would be the best words to sum up my prayers lately.

This dry spell stinks!  People have told me He is teaching me in this dry spell, but I don't feel like I have learned anything just yet.  I know the Lord is leading me out of it, because there is evidence in my life, such as right now, I'm blogging!  The hubs and I did a bible study together for the first time in a long time.  Granted, I laid my head down as he read, but it was progress.  Too many great things have happened lately for me not to write about and hopefully soon they will be part of my blog.  I'm not sure anymore what this blog is intended for or if it will ever serve any huge purpose in my life or the life of someone else, but I'm going to try and keep writing.  Even if I only write once a month, my intentions are to just write!

I'm not sure about writing regarding all my fears and anxieties at this point.  No, I think it will be pretty light hearted for a while.  I don't want to think of all the things that could happen.  Maybe it will be an outlet for me to get away from my ordinary, every day, all consuming thoughts and just relax!

A positive note for the day... I LOVE the new podcast the worship leader at our church has been recording everyday!  The Gathering Place.  It doesn't matter if you are in a dry place or wanting more and more!  It's so easy to listen and I love that baby girl moves like crazy when she hears the voices of our praise team singing out from the computer!  She is in love with them already!  I could write about our body of believers all day too!

Father,
I am still a little shaky when I begin to pray.  I feel as if we are meeting for the first time and I have nothing to say.  I am tired of constantly being bombarded with worry and fear.  I am weary from not having energy, but I feel selfish praying for sleep to come at night. Again, I don't know what to say.  Asking for you to take it from me just feels selfish.  Thank You for the podcast that has been such a blessing.  Thank You for the faithful ones who record the podcast and thank You for the movement I have felt from this child today! I do pray, my focus for You and Your word will continue to increase.

Gender Reveal with Lots of Pictures

Each time I have tried to blog lately something stops me.  One day I had an entire blog entry written out and deleted it.  Today, I am determined to blog about the gender reveal party we had over a week ago.  

I made cake cookies the night before the sonogram.  Two special cookies were made with pink icing baked in one and blue in the other.  I made sure to place the cookie with pink icing inside a bag titled "girl" and the blue one in a bag titled "boy." The next day the hubs and I found out the gender of our baby at around 1 p.m. and had to wait until 6 p.m. to reveal the gender to family and friends.  

To make things more interesting, my aunt made up a story and each time she said,"right" during the story, people passed their cookie to the right and visa versa when left was read. I was sad some of my family could not be there for this fun night, so I am blogging to give them the details. We loved every minute of it and I feel blessed to have family and friends who will love this baby and teach this child about the gospel. 

The icing that was placed inside ONE cookie! The next day, we also decorated with the icing.

Boy or girl?

One happy Grandma and her son! 

We can say FIVE generations now!

My Grandfather was sure it was a girl so he insisted they bring me a pink rose!

These cuties dressed according to what the believed the gender of the baby would be. 

My sweet nephew! I just had to throw his picture in here! 

Waiting to find out

Almost there....

It's a.....

Well...It was funny watching everyone wonder what it was and try to keep up with the left/right story :0)

Okay... It's a girl!

LANDRY FAITH

This is my FAVORITE sonogram picture so far!  I love little baby feet!

Father,

Thank you for family and friends who have a love for you.  Thank you for allowing us to see the baby you have given us to raise. I pray that we will raise her to know and love you. In Jesus name amen.