PSALM 28:7 and Birth Story

Five months ago, God entrusted us with a sweet miracle.  I cannot believe I have waited five months to write the story of her birth.  I am not sure I can even remember all of the details, because it feels like a life time ago.

I will start by writing about fears prior to Landry's arrival and those I had going into the labor and delivery process.  It is no secret that I have a constant battle occurring in mind.  Looking back, it sounds silly to say, I was afraid I would not bond with my baby girl.  I was also afraid she would not like me.  These fears were straight from Satan, as was each and every other fear!  

I had an extreme fear of Labor and Delivery.  I have a LOW pain tolerance.  I have pain when I am just touched in certain areas. For example, different places on my legs will hurt if someone barely touches them.  I was so afraid of the labor and delivery, because I just knew I would pass out. The minute we arrived I asked for medicine to keep me calm, which they would not give me.

That morning many of my sweet friends sent verses and prayers for me to "hold onto" during the process.  Psalm 28:7 was the verse of the day for K-Love that morning.  I prayed that scripture throughout the day.  We arrived at the hospital at 6 a.m. and shortly after the pitocin was started.  The nurses encouraged me to get out of bed and walk, hoping Landry would come further down into the birth canal.  By the grace of God, my wimpy self was able to walk the halls of the hospital.  Once I was seven cm dilated the Doctor ordered my epidural.  Crazy me almost said come back later!  As I was about to say, "I don't need it now," I had a contraction.  MIND. CHANGED. IMMEDIATELY!  I am so glad I chose to have an epidural.  It did not hurt as bad as I thought it would and after the medicine kicked in I felt no pain anywhere!  I can't remember the exact time anymore, but not long after receiving the epidural I went from 7 cm to 10 cm and it was time to push!  Three pushes and that baby was out!  I know it doesn't normally happen this way, but on November 30, 2012, God had mercy on me.  He gave me strength that was definitely not my own.  Anyone who truly knows me can attest to that fact.

Also a random, but maybe interesting side note.... I held onto a wadded up paper towel throughout my labor and delivery.  I am not really sure why I had a wadded up paper towel in my hand, but it stayed with me for 8 hours.      

The hospital stay was as incredible as a hospital stay can be.  The nurses were great!  They took care of us and gave nursing tips.  Later in the day I became extremely lightheaded and I finally passed out.  I remember screaming for the nurse and at least three were surrounding me as I came to.  The doctor thought I may need a blood transfusion, but thankfully I did not.  One of the nurses suggested I get someone to bring me a steak.  My mother-in-law and husband brought me a steak kabob, sweet potato, and a roll.  I scarfed it down like I had never eaten before.  There was not a crumb left! I felt much better after I finally ate.

We were released from the hospital two days later and that is when the real journey began.  It has been the most difficult and rewarding times since she arrived!  Many tears and smiles have been shared.  We all learn new things each and every day.  Watching her as she learns new things is exciting!  She notices everything and watches things like a hawk!  I am more aware, now than ever, that new fears will arise every day and I need to ask myself, "Where is this fear coming from?"  I am still not great at dismissing fears, which is  sad considering God has shown his faithfulnesses time and time again.  I constantly find myself asking for forgiveness.  I am thankful to serve a forgiving God.

Psalm 28:7

The Lord is my strength and shield.
    I trust him with all my heart.
He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.
    I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.

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