I remember many of my friends saying once Landry was born I would see God with new lenses. This is true on many levels. I see we are exactly like children and I can say for myself, in many ways I am just an infant. Landry trusts us to hold her and care for her. She could not survive if it were not for us caring for her. In my life I have found the only one who can care for me and who I trust to hold me is God. When I am in the middle of a spiritual battle no one else will do. No one else can get me through a spiritual battle and no one else can fight for me like He can and does.
In three short months I can already say, this is the MOST DIFFICULT job I have ever been given, but it is also the most rewarding. I know there will be days that are harder than others and we will have so many learning experiences on our journey. I pray I learn more about God through each experience. Today she was in so much pain (probably gas pains), but pain no less. As I held her trying to calm her, I thought my heart might break. I'm also not feeling well so I thought, "AHHHHH!!!! I CAN'T DO THIS TODAY!" Then just as quickly as she began to cry, she stopped, looked up at me, and smiled. My heart did not break, but it did melt a little. I am not perfect and have made so many mistakes already, yet she looks at me as if I were the most wonderful creation ever. I am so far from it! I get angry and irritated at the drop of a hat, but at this moment she just sees someone who takes care of her. How much more should I look at God in admiration? He is perfect and has patience that outweighs anything we can imagine. How many times
The day we brought our little angel home from the hospital!