When I first began blogging, I said I would share some of my prayers from the years prior to blogging. I have put this off for over a year now. I haven't looked in my prayer journal in a long time, but I believe God is prompting me to re-read past prayers and share a few of them from time to time. The first prayer I wrote in this journal (which is more like a regular journal entry than a prayer) was not dated. I am guessing it was written in April or May of 2011. It really isn't a difficult one to share. It is a perfect one to begin with, because it isn't that personal. I am sure some of the prayers locked in this journal will be harder to share. I will have to take a look at old scars. Some of those scars have probably healed and some still remain. They are reminders of pain past and/or present. Some will not resemble scars at all, but will remind me of God's many blessings. I am not sure what this series will unlock (if anything). I am not sure of its purpose, but I do hope it glorifies God and brings me closer to Him. I hope to make this series a priority. I also want to begin writing my prayers again. I have not written down prayers in a long time. Writing keeps me focused. My brain tends to go in a million different directions all at once, but when I write I am focused.
Written around April or May of 2011:
On Sunday's, without fail, it always seems to be difficult to get ready for church. This difficulty can present itself in many ways like feeling ill, arguing with loved ones, lack of a desire, and so on. Why? I believe, for me, it is because I neglect to wake up and put on the full armor of God. Especially, but not limited to, praying in the Spirit. As a child, I loved singing the song, "I'm in the Lords Army." I had no idea what that really meant. The Lord's Army? Here is what I think it means, "Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, it is against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against spiritual forces of evil in the Heavenly realms." We must fight and without the Lord and the full armor of God we will lose. We are constantly engaged in battle. At times, it is easy for me to see this, because I struggle with depression. The lies that bombard my thoughts feel so real. The depression is greater when I have not spent time with the Lord. Sometimes the battle is so fierce and I am too weak to pick up or put on anything. Those are the times my brothers and sisters in Christ seem to step in and lift me up in prayer. They stand before, but even greater and mightier is Christ!