I have a strong and perfect plea
A great High Priest whose name is love
Who ever lives and pleads for me
My name is graven on His hands
My name is written on His heart
I know that while in heav’n He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart
When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free
For God the Just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me
Behold Him there, the risen Lamb
My perfect, spotless Righteousness
The great unchangeable I AM
The King of glory and of grace
One with Himself, I cannot die
My soul is purchased by His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high
With Christ my Savior and my God
With Christ my Savior and my God
I can imagine my paw paw speaking these words now. These words are engraved on my heart as well. I am a wretched sinner who is saved only by the grace of a Mighty God, but the Son has set me free and he calls me His own! As I stood in worship the day after my paw paw passed away, these lyrics struck my heart in a completely new way. I can imagine him standing before the throne of God and saying, "I am not worthy." Fighting to accept the gift, because of all of his past mistakes. To which I would say, "Well, none of us are worthy." I can see him standing there and falling at the feet of our precious Savior. Crying out, "Oh Jesus! Precious Jesus! Thank You for the cross! Thank You for the scars! Thank You for being my spotless Lamb!"
See, I question my own salvation from time to time. I know I shouldn't, but the thought of Hell scares me and I don't think the fear of going to Hell is a bad thing. I want to be in Heaven with my Great Father. The Great I Am. I want it more than anything in this world, but I know I don't deserve it. I allow the enemy of this world to convince me of that from time to time. The enemy would have us stay there and sit a while. Our actions will eventually reflect the way we see ourselves. Free or slaves. We are free if we have been made free in Christ and it's dangerous to believe otherwise. As we drove to see my lifeless paw paw on saturday, tears streamed down my cheeks, and I asked God to show me if paw paw was in heaven. It was a scary question to me and I didn't know if there would be an answer. With or without an answer, I would have been okay. However, I believe He did answer me. At 12 pm, they strolled paw paw's lifeless body past our family. At 12 pm the clock in maw maw's living area, a clock that I don't understand half the time, chimed so loudly that it could be heard from the carport. As they strolled him past us, the clock chimed, "Amazing Grace."
Amazing Grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me! I can hear him sing those words. Only our God could have orchestrated such beautiful timing. I believe if we knew just how much God loved us, we would be in a state of mind that could only worship Him. We would be at a place that only desired to tell people about the goodness and greatness of our God and we would break free from a lot of bondage.
When I was a child I saw my paw paw as a perfect man. Was he? No and none of us are. It's funny how death takes away a lot of the bad memories of our loved ones. I remember things like learning to drive a car with him and he had a lot of patience with me. I remember him dancing to 50's music with me and watching hours of cartoons. I outgrew the cartoons, but he never did. He loved them and truly enjoyed watching them with his grandkids. He was not perfect, but he was a good paw paw. I do think if he could have been captivated by the love of Jesus that is surrounding us, he would have been different. I also believe at some point in his life (maybe after his accident in a split second of a lucid moment, but I can't be sure) he gave his life to Christ. I honestly believe he is now in a perfect state, worshiping a perfect God and if he could tell us one thing, it just might be, "Don't waste your time on your own desires, but let the desires of the world die and the desires of Christ live in you." Go and tell people of the goodness of Jesus and the freedom God gave us at the cross. Let the Holy Spirit be your guide and don't become swallowed up in the ways of the world. Jesus died on cross and shed his blood for us. Don't let his death be in vain.
When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free
For God the Just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me
